I have found myself in this rut several times in the past few months. For a while, I had to seriously contemplate where my career was heading and if I really wanted to be a part of that direction. After a long debate and conversation with myself and my husband, I decided that this is, indeed, what I want....which kind of sucked. It is much more difficult to stay somewhere that you have decided is going to be a right fit for you at some point and still try to fit your round peg into that square hole. So, a month later, I believe things are somewhat settling down into a regular pattern and working out more smoothly, which I definitely like. Still, I will have to be wary of any advanced signs of boredom.
My health has been improving steadily, although the hormones are still not completely regulated, I will go back in the beginning of March to find out what the next step is, if any. Hopefully the tests will come back well and I won't have to change anything, but I have a feeling that will not be the answer I receive. It is frustrating having to hold off on having children but the hormone regulation is very important for child development and my stress level which also affects child development, so I am trying to be patient. Even still, my weight is still climbing. The Wii fit has helped me get back into the mood to exercise but seems to limit my drive somewhat. I find myself yearning for warmer temperatures so I can start jogging and work my way up to running. If I can keep this drive in my mind, I believe that I can lose weight and gain my thinner physique.
My husband and I are doing very well. We have a few bumps in the road but what couple doesn't? I think that my health still affects us somewhat and my hours at work definitely have an effect on my patience with my husband, but he is perfect in the way he loves me for myself, the good and the bad. I love him the same way and although he does drive me crazy or upset me or frustrate me sometimes, I know that we will always get through things together. After the past year, I don't know how I would even begin to doubt that!
Social life - nonexistent. Mainly because of work, but also because I simply don't have many long-term friends in this area. One of my friends lives pretty close but he works a lot and usually at the opposite times that I do so it does not work out to hang out very often with him. Still, I need to try and make time to hang out with my friends more often, lest I begin to lose them. Still, I have begun to develop friendships with people at work (wow that sentence sounds cold, but true). I really enjoy what I do and who I work with, but not necessarily the constraints of how it must get accomplished. Such is life, however, and one must sometimes adhere to the standards before one can change them.
Personally I am working on my issues. I have been seeing a psychologist about the things that I need help working through. While I understand that no change comes overnight and a thought process change for someone who is always concentrating on thoughts is probably even more difficult (can't just stop and reboot), I have to try and work at it. Meanwhile I am falling asleep at my desk and have to be at work tomorrow, so I suppose I should probably head to sleep.
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