Exhaustion

Anybody that has ever taken a class involving the word stress, or gone to work, or school, or lived any sort of challenging life has at some point hit the exhaustion stage. I hit sometime Saturday when I was working for the 15th day in a row. Now this is not to say that I worked at Office Depot for fifteen days in a row, no I only worked there for six days at a time in a row, then I would go home and on sundays I would take off to go do homework for twelve hours, or at least as many hours as I could keep my eyes awake.

So Saturday is my last full day working before I can take a couple of days "off." This really means that I can simply finally get caught up on all of the damn school work that I've been putting off so that I could get the overtime hours at work. Even though I know I'm going to like my next check, it makes me wonder what it is all really about and whether it is truly worth it at all.

I told my boyfriend the other night that I need to remap and readdress my own value system. Somewhere along the line, I've lost myself and I'm not even really sure if I can get it back. Burnout and stress seems to have stripped me. At the same time, I feel that cannot be possible. I am, after all, only twenty-one years old and only just that (september 18).... So how is it even possible that I would and could be so freaking worn out?

I think it has something to do with the fact that I give my all to every job just as I give my all to every relationship, and I give my all to school. At some point, something's got to give back. My boyfriend is the best thing that ever happened to me, and I think he's helping me to understand a little better that this job is not my world and nor should it be. I am very young and I understand that I only have one chance to be this young, but I've always figured that was why I needed to succeed now because then I'd be set up to succeed later, but if I'm not happy with who I am, what is success really worth? Something to ponder as I continue working on my homework!!!